Reinvented … every week
Monday, November 30th, 2009
One week ago, I was preparing for the final NASCAR race, the Ford 400 at Homestead-Miami Speedway. My first race was through the three toll booths on the way to the track.
Now it’s all football. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. High school on the road Friday night. Texas-Texas A&M. Clemson-South Carolina. Georgia-Georgia Tech. The Egg Bowl. The Palmetto Bowl. A metallic boot formed from the states of Louisiana and Arkansas being stacked on top of each other.
For some reason, LSU’s helmets made me want to drink a Sundrop. All the gold needed was carbonation.
Nike was responsible for that. Nike was also responsible for what looked vaguely like butterfly wings on the shoulders of players from Virginia Tech and Florida.
Uniforms are breaking down, man, just like in NASCAR.
When I started writing about NASCAR for a living, it was easy to tell the cars apart. They had uniforms. Bud Moore’s Ford was red and black. Jimmy Spencer’s had McDonald’s golden arches. Jeff Gordon’s Chevy had the rainbow look. Dale Earnhardt’s found common ground with the Oakland Raiders.
Now every week’s Christmas because the teams wrap their prize cars in different wrappers almost every week. It’s made binoculars a good deal more important when I’m packing my backpack. Unloading the cars is like watching presents being opened.
Just when I decried the fact that stock cars no longer have uniforms, I realized it’s spreading. There’s no continuity, no reliability, and I’ve almost decided to pull against every school that has its uniforms designed by Nike.
What’s become of the world when a man can turn on the television and find the Denver Broncos wearing yellow, brown and hideous socks?
I value the schools that cling to tradition. God bless Alabama and Auburn, Texas, Penn State, Southern Cal, Michigan and Notre Dame, not to mention the Indianapolis Colts and the aforementioned Raiders.
I guess it’s all about gear. It’s all about getting fashion-conscious - fashion being defined as "hey, here’s what we’re wearing!" - fans buying a different jersey, or a different jacket, or a different die-cast collectible - every single week. No mantel is complete without the latest pink Elliott Sadler 1:24 scale die-cast.



Montoya "went off" after tangling with Stewart during the Ford 400, suggesting that Stewart should be suspended and using several colorful nouns in relation to the two-time champion. Later, after Montoya had his Chevy repaired, he returned the favor, spinning Stewart’s car into the inside barrier of the Homestead-Miami Speedway front straight.

